The Birth of Stoicism
A story of oracles, shipwrecks and homeless philosophers
Friends, Romans, countrymen, and TikTok users lend me your ears!
I come not to philosophize, but to regale you with a tale so wild, so unbelievable, it would make Socrates himself spit out his hemlock in disbelief.
We are talking about the birth of a philosophy, a movement that, amid the chaos and debauchery of ancient Athens, dared to ask the question:
“What really matters in this wacky world?”
It’s a tale of one man’s quest for meaning that starts with the words every merchant dreads: “Thar she blows!” And trust me, by the end, you’ll be saying “Whoa, didn’t see that one coming!” Let us begin!
How did Stoicism Start?
It all started with a guy named Zeno of Citium, a wealthy merchant from Cyprus, sailing the Mediterranean with a boatload of purple dye (the ancient equivalent of designer handbags). But then, BAM! Shipwreck. He washes up on the shores of Athens, broke and directionless, feeling like life had just given him a giant middle finger.
Desperate for answers, he makes a pilgrimage to the Oracle of Delphi, hoping for some divine guidance. And what does the Oracle tell him?
“Take the color of dead men.”
Zeno’s like, “WTH?” Totally lost, he drags himself back to Athens and collapses at a bookstore, where he starts reading about this guy Socrates. Turns out, Socrates was all about the idea that anyone can learn to be wise and virtuous, regardless of their fancy family tree. Suddenly, it clicks for Zeno: the Oracle wants him to soak up the wisdom of the dead philosophers!
Zeno ditches the book, jumps up, and asks, “Where can I find a guy like this today?” Turns out, a famous philosopher named Crates of Thebes is passing by. The bookseller points towards Crates and Zeno follows him and becomes his student.
Zeno the Cynic
The Cynic philosophers believed in attaining virtue through “voluntary hardship” (aka, making life harder than it needs to be). Their idea was to just say “screw it” to all the world’s luxuries and live straight out of a trash can. In fact, Plato famously described the Cynic philosopher Diogenes as “Socrates gone mad.”
Zeno began training under Crates, sleeping on the streets, wearing rags, and basically living like a philosopher hobo. But as he’s going through this intense training, Zeno starts to realize that maybe the Cynics are a bit too extreme. He’s thinking, “Sure, I want to be virtuous, but do I really need to give up all worldly comforts?”
Zeno’s Philosophical Journey
So, Zeno decides to expand his philosophical horizons. He starts studying with other schools, like Plato’s Academy and the Megarian school, soaking up their ideas on logic, metaphysics, and the nature of reality. He’s like a kid in a candy store, sampling different flavors of wisdom and trying to find the perfect blend.
After years of studying and contemplation, Zeno has his “Eureka!” moment. He realizes that he can take the best bits from each school and create his own philosophy. And thus, Zeno began teaching his own lessons at the Stoa Poikile (painted porch).
Zeno and the Stoics
Fun fact: Zeno’s students were originally called the Zenonians but later got the name the Stoics from the Stoa Poikile.
Zeno and his students become known for their practical, down-to-earth approach to philosophy. They’re not interested in abstract theories or endless debates. They want to figure out how to live a good life in the real world. Zeno’s like, “Forget about chasing fame and fortune, folks. True happiness comes from being wise and virtuous!”
The Stoics believe that external things like wealth, health, and reputation are just “preferred indifferents” – nice to have, but not essential for a good life. What really matters is your character and how you respond to life’s challenges. Zeno’s like, “You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. That’s where true power lies!”
And so, Zeno spends his days pacing under the Stoa, dropping his teachings and, helping his students navigate life’s ups and downs. He’s like a philosophical therapist, showing people how to find inner peace and contentment, no matter what the world throws at them. And the rest, as they say, is history!